Infidelity by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg

Author:Kenneth Paul Rosenberg
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Published: 2018-05-15T04:00:00+00:00

Cheaters, be warned

At first you will minimize your philandering behaviors. You will deny. You will hedge. You will tell quarter-truths, then half-truths. As each bit of information leaks out, you will dig yourself deeper into a hole. Your lies are likely to fail because although your spouse may never find out the whole truth, s/he will find more and more evidence. And when they catch you in yet another lie, they’ll likely never again trust you, effectively ending the relationship.

If you’re a cheater, you’re in the habit of manipulating people. This is not a value judgment; it’s just fact. Let me offer this bit of advice: your spouse is onto you now. One betrayed spouse told me, “Each little lie from him chips away at me. I’m not a starfish. I can’t grow new legs. I can’t undo what I’ve now learned about him. How can I ever trust him again?” Despite knowing it is wrong, you will be inclined to continue to manipulate.

For instance, you will be tempted to tell your accuser lies and false justifications like, “You told me it’s okay if I have an affair. Don’t you remember that? Remember that one time when you were so angry, you turned beet red and told me, ‘We’re over. Screw someone else for all I care!’” Or, “What did you expect, given how you treated me?” Or, “I wasn’t looking for an affair. We were only friends, nothing more. S/he was nice to me, unlike you!” Or, “I’m not having an affair. You’re just trying to control me.” There may be a grain of truth in any of these justifications, but it ignores the fundamental agreement you had to be monogamous and denies your dishonest actions.

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